Not long after our wedding we started hearing questions like, “When do we get the good news about a family? “etc. We had to get used to smiling and changing the discussion because we did not feel like explaining to people what our family plans were.
In any case, we were two busy people enjoying our work and wanting to focus first on building our home which demanded much attention and time – especially during the first two years. In the third year I again felt the urge to study and enrolled with the University of South Africa for a Bachelor’s degree majoring in History and Psychology. I helped with the housework and then would start my studies late in the evening.
Since our lives had become fairly settled, the time had come to begin to fulfil a promise we had made before we got married – to start our family and what’s more, a bedroom was waiting for him or her. Phyllis had to decide on blue or pink in her purchases because we had no idea if a boy or girl would come first.
As a woodwork craftsman, I started designing a cot that had to be unique in that both sides had to be able to open but it also had to be able to expand in the length which could be useful as the child grew. That proved to be a brain teaser if any. Drawings piled up but eventually I worked out how the length of the cot could be increased overtime, using an overlapping slatted system. There was also a play-pen that could be folded and be portable on my list of things to make.
Where the baby would be born and who would deliver it was something still to be considered when the time came. Those decisions Phyllis and her mother could help to make and we had to be guided by experienced people.
It was early in 1963, almost exactly 5 years after our wedding that Phyllis first became aware of changes to herself that indicated that she might be pregnant. It was still early days and the waiting started. Names of doctors were mentioned and one, Dr Douglass Henry was highly thought of by her mother and friends.
Once it was confirmed that Phyllis was pregnant we made an appointment to see Dr Henry. She declared herself available for the period of the confinement that would take place sometime in the November and informed told us that it would be in the Kingsbury hospital in Claremont. That was all very exciting and our thoughts often drifted between boy and girl names. Boy or girl, it mattered not as long as the baby was healthy.
Closer to the estimated time Phyllis experienced some sharp pains which made me check that the car was ready and fuelled up in case an after hour rush became necessary. What I understood was that labour pains would indicate how close the birth was becoming. The stronger and longer and more close they became we had to inform the doctor who would instruct us to go to the hospital.
Some would turn out to be a false alarm, like the night when we were at a Drive-In cinema show and we had to decide to head home or continue watching a good movie. We waited some more time but later went home only to find the contractions dissipated as we got home. However, it sure added to the excitement of having our first child.
Being ordered by the doctor to book in at the hospital accelerated the anticipation that we would very soon be parents. I had to go home to feed Killick and look after things so I had to leave Phyllis in the hospital and was told that I would be called when things were happening
Arriving at the hospital the next day I found Phyllis feeling worried because to speed things up, the doctor had punctured her waters with the hope that this would accelerate the birth. I spent time with her but my concern increased as the time went on. The nurses were cheerful and helpful and since it was also my first I could not pass comment but was becoming more worried about Phyllis and tried to reassure her that she was in good hands.
As time went on and it was now getting later in the evening and as the fussing around Phyllis increased I moved out of the ward and placed myself right next to the door to be able to hear what was going on. Being a very occasional smoker I find myself starting once again as I nervously sat down.
The traffic in and out of the room increased and the nurses tried to keep me calm and informed and said things like, “It won’t be long now” and one later said, “We can see the baby has dark hair,” but the anxiety in her face kept me smoking and worrying because I heard not a sound from Phyllis.
Suddenly the Sister came to me and said, “Your wife is sinking fast and we need your permission to call a specialist.” There was one close to the hospital she said.
“Go ahead” I said, and made way for her to rush off. Phyllis was going to get the best professional help and I did not want to be in the way.
That doctor came fairly soon and the place became uncomfortably quiet. Then, “It’s a girl!” I heard someone call out. I tried to look in but Phyllis was completely surrounded by staff. The gynaecologist, Dr Cheryl then told me that Phyllis was sedated. stable and would be taken away to recovery, but “was in good hands” and they were now going to wash and clean the baby.
Suddenly I was alone in the room and realised that it was around 2pm and that it was the 13rd November 1963. Things were being cleaned, closed and locked away and I was left alone waiting to hear about my little baby girl.
Suddenly a door opened and a nurse walked in with a baby in a tiny cot saying, “Here Dad is your beautiful daughter.” I took her in my arms and had my first really good look at her and yes, she was spotless, quiet and indeed a pretty baby.
Because it was so late and I still had a long way to travel home, I put her cot down on a little table and had a last look before leaving her. I had hardly walked a few yards away when she started crying. I turned around and went back to her and she stopped crying.
I cooed and stroked her like a puppy and when she had settled I turned to leave once more. She started crying immediately I moved away, so I returned to her side and as I reached her she stopped crying. The same thing happened again. Each time I walked away she starts to cry again. Each time I return to her she stops.
“Hey! Look at that, a new born baby and she already knows her Dad!” came the voice of a nurse who was watching all this happen from the other end of the room. “She is less than an hour old and she already knows her father.” “What a clever little girl.”
Looking around I realised what was happening. There was a light on the wall that my body shaded when I was close to her and when I turned to leave, the light would shine in her eyes causing her to start crying. Turning the cot around solved the problem so that I could eventually go home. I did not reveal my secret to the nurses!
Early the next morning, I phoned to find out about Phyl’s condition and was told that she was awake and fine and that the baby was with her. I explained that I would visit her after school was out. In those days birth mothers had to stay at the nursing home for ten days before being allowed to go home, so I was going to be a regular visitor.
As I entered the visiting room that evening a nurse pointed me out saying, “That’s the father of that clever little baby who recognised him right from birth!” She then started telling everyone what had happened the previous night. This talk was repeated each day I came to visit. My daughter and I were already quite a legendary pair!
Arriving home we were worried about what Killick would do when he saw a stranger in the house. We put our baby, now 10 days old in the middle of the bed in the bedroom and closely watched Killick as he entered the room. He immediately knew there was something strange on the bed, walked around to the back, lifted his front paws onto the mattress, sniffed the baby and then, much to our relief, started licking her.
That first evening we placed her in the new cot in her room and we stayed with her until she fell asleep so we could tiptoe out. Just then emergency broadcast signals came over the radio in the next room. I turned up the volume a little bit only to be informed that President John F Kennedy had been assassinated in Dallas, Texas in the USA. Quite a memorable homecoming event for our little girl.
Deciding on her name was not difficult at all. We wanted to honour granny, Gnagna, because this would be her first and only granddaughter so far. I loved the name Nicolette because it added a French flavour and connection to our family in France. Phyllis agreed but also felt strongly that the specialist who was called at a critically time to save her life deserved to be remembered. So we came up with: Nicolette Cheryl Lydia as her registered legal names. We decided to put (Nikki) in brackets on her birth certificate because we wanted to be particular about how the abbreviation should be spelt.
A happy start to calling ourselves a ‘family’
